Calculus Haiku and Limericks

Haiku:

• Free Will

  Finding minima
  Of my Hamiltonian...
  So much for free will.

• September 11th?

  This world extrema
  Minima feelings present
  Our muffled souls frown

• The glorious parabola

  Lo, Parabola!
  Infinite end behavior:
  Bowl or umbrella.

• Slant

  Denominator
  One less than numerator:
  A slant asymptote.

Limericks:

• The Function Zoo

  There once was a professor at NKU.
  Often he took his class on trips to the function zoo.
  He taught them that functions were fun
  And all the tricks for optimization.
  "Each function," he said "can have minimums and maximums too."

• The Pen

  An imaginative man of Norway,
  built a pen for his reindeer to play.
  Said the man, "no extrema
  can beat a cool schema,"
  so the pen took the form of a sleigh.

• Just Dandy

  There is a professor who's name is Andy.
  With concepts like optimization, he's very handy.
  maxima, we learned is largest,
  minima, we learned is smallest,
  One thing for certain, calculus class is always a dandy!