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Melvin died this May, 2020. We thought he wouldn't make it past January -- I
thought that I was saying goodbye (with Mark and John, to boot) as we left
Mom's place at Christmastime. But I had a chance to see Melvin again at spring
break, as Anna and I headed back from Canada. What a treat to get that one last
visit in. He was very tired; but still alert -- still asking questions, still
interested in things.
I sat at his feet, looking up to him in his chair. I have always
looked up to him.
- Upon his death I started a card to his
boys, but failed to finish. I really only know Paul and John (Mark
and Bill never really interacted with me). I was fortunate to get to
know John (and his friend Mike Evans) through Paul, and our freshman
year at Miami University. In the end, the card sat quietly on the
table until it disappeared. I didn't know what I wanted to say to
them.
I haven't had many long discussions with Paul since Peace Corps; John
and I have had a chance to chat a few times, but again, not much since
1986.
- Martha was our Cub scout leader, and we once "made" cutting board -- of
course Melvin had cut them all out (we were just to decorate
them). That board lasted thirty years, and I still have it (though it's
falling apart now).
Everything Melvin made, he made well.
- We were at Johnson's house on the night that Mindy was born. They were
watching us. I think that it was there that I learned that I had "won":
we'd gotten a sister, not a brother (my brothers had foolishly hoped
for another brother -- but thank God for Mindy!). A joyful night to
remember, and I think that both of my brothers have come around....
- Melvin gave Paul a corner of the garage in which to build a "fort", which
had electricity, heat, etc. Mitzi's pen was down below, and I'm sure
that Melvin did a lot of the construction. When we were probably in
middle school, I got curious as to what would happen if you dropped a
big old nail across the prongs of something plugged into a socket, and
BOOM. Lucky I didn't burn their house down.
Melvin came out to see what the hell had blown, and when he
saw what had happened he laid into "us" (Paul didn't pin the
blame on me, bless his heart -- Paul was always a loyal
soldier). But that was all. Told us not to do it again.
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Melvin and Martha drove Paul and me down to Miami our freshman
year. Paul had his car, too, so I guess we had their station wagon and
Paul's car. I don't remember them helping us unload, etc., although I
remember they took a picture of Paul and me, standing outside of
Dodd's Hall -- the farewell shot.
And as soon as his folks were gone Paul and I climbed onto our bikes
and rode to town, and picked up some Michelob beer (which was
perfectly legal at that time). We were planning on being the social
directors of the wing of the dorm, and we wanted to welcome everyone
with a beer. Shortly after our welcome party began, we were accosted
by RAs for drinking in the hall, and had our beer thrown down the
drain in the janitor's closet across from our room.
Turns out the RA thought it was high beer (those were the days of "low
beer", 3.2% alcohol, which 18 year olds were allowed to drink) --
because it was Michelob, and the RA didn't know that they made a low
beer (red cap, as I recall). So we were ordered to report to the Head
RA the next day, and discovered the error. Thus began our war with "Mother
Miami", which ended in our retreat to Bowling Green the next year.
Welcome to Miami! (Paul and I both left after that freshman year, and
headed back to BGSU.)
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My first memorable encounter with John was when Paul and I hitchhiked to
Columbus for a weekend. John and Mike picked us up off the freeway in John's
Audi. John was smoking a cigar, and bragging up his Audi because it recycled
the inside air every 24 seconds (so we shouldn't have to die of secondhand
smoke, I guess). We had a great weekend with those guys.
Melvin and Martha also met us in Columbus at some point, and I remember dining
in Germantown. Melvin and Martha had puchased a pitcher of beer for us all to
drink, and Melvin salted it first -- an old German thing, it
seems. Interesting!
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When Dad was stricken with cancer, and needed a little more stability when
climbing stairs, we asked Melvin to make the second railing on the staircase
leading up to his bedroom -- and Melvin said he would. Dad didn't trust his
boys to do it quite right, I'm sure. When Melvin completed the job, he and Dad
posed at the top of the stairs, and Dad began to weep. I'm sure that he was
simply quite touched that Melvin would do that for him. Melvin looked
uncomfortable, but I'm sure that he understood how much it meant to Dad, and
what a nice thing he'd done.
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Melvin liked to show off his "habitat" -- a little piece of ground near
Tontogany, Ohio, which he'd rewilded in accordance with some local and state
officials. He'd done a wonderful job, but would have no doubt agreed that he
kept his "wilderness" a little too tidy....
He built a "garage" (more like a small cabin) out there, and liked to
hang out by his pond, aerated by a windmill, feeding his fish, tending
his trees, mowing strips through the habitat so that one could walk it
and enjoy the native grasses and such that he was encouraging there. A
beautiful spot.
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Melvin took Dad's calculus class, and Dad said he was a great student. Dad
recalled how Melvin encountered the sine function, and immediately understood
that it would be a good model for the number of daylight hours over the course
of a year.
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Melvin loved to talk about his personal and family history, geneology, Martha's
German family, etc., etc. Actually he just loved to talk! But he had a lot of
interesting things to share; he was never tedious.
- His beautiful Toledo Labino glass
collection: Melvin built some beautiful display cases into his walls,
to show it off.
- His early life in Dowling:
- how he lost his younger sibling to
burns (falling into a water pot -- don't know if it was
Delbert, his brother, who died at the age of 4; or his sister
Pauline who "died as an infant" according to his obituary);
- his father's farm being razed to make way for I-75, and how he was
invited to take anything before they bulldozed it. He rescued
some rocks from the farm to make the mantle of his
fireplace. One of the strangest things to take from the
property, he thought! Also took some doors, which he
incorporated into their home.
- Melvin and I had a couple of adventures in construction. He helped me put
in a deadbolt in Mom's door; and we cut some glass together (don't
recall why). He was a wonderful teacher.
- Melvin and I differed on politics most of our lives. He was a Republican
(his wife a Democrat!:), and he and my Mom would usually battle with
contrary political signs.
Once he told me, at the time of Clinton's impeachment trial, that he
thought that Senator Trent Lott (I think it was Lott) was a "good man",
an "honorable man" (in contrast to the slimey Clinton); not long
afterwards it came out that Lott had a mistress, too.... We never
talked about that one.
But I was sure proud of Melvin when he opposed Trump in 2016. Melvin
even put up a Hillary sign. We had a chat about it, and Melvin told me
that Trump reminded him a lot of Adolf Hitler (and Melvin should know,
because he had read "Mein Kempf" as a youngster, and understood how
dangerous Hitler really was).
One of the few times that Melvin and Mom and I saw eye to eye on
politics!:)
- Martha and he took Anna and me on a tour of Dowling once, and we went to the
cemetary where they would be buried. Melvin pointed out some of
"Andrew's Raiders" who were buried there, too, with their Congressional
Medals of Honor -- local boys done good.
Melvin said that he and Martha would be buried facing East, and so on
nice mornings, as the sun rose, he'd lean over and say "Look at that
beautiful sunrise, Martha."
Martha gave him one of her standard "You're a dope" looks, as lovingly
as ever, as she always did.
- Melvin could be sentimental. A tough German, he, too, could cry. I
remember when his dog Mitzi died. I was down in our basement, listening
to Billy Joel's
"Until the Night" when I looked out to see Melvin coming across
their back yard holding his small bundle of joy -- now lifeless. He was
burying Mitzi in their backyard. He had even carved her name into a
modest sized rock, as a monument.
It was heartbreaking. And now I can say it to you, Melvin:
Until the night, until the night
I just might make it
Until the night, until the night
When I see you again
- I had the pleasure of knowing Melvin across my whole life to 2020, and I
wish that it could have gone on, and on, and on. What a great man. Rest
peacefully, my friend, until I see you again. I know that you are
resting peacefully, beside your sweetheart, and that you and Martha are enjoying
each sunrise, each new day....
I love you both!