From rhoskins@home.com Thu Jun 24 11:22:13 1999
Date: Wed, 23 Jun 1999 20:27:34 -0700
From: "Richard E. Hoskins" <rhoskins@home.com>
Reply-To: waphgis@u.washington.edu
To: libstaples@pinehurst.net, skylinefirepest@pinehurst.net,
    MCorn1045@aol.com, "FREDERICK, Maggie" <FREDEM@dshs.wa.gov>,
    Laura Larsson <larsson@u.washington.edu>
Cc: Roger Pulwarty <pulwarty@ogp.noaa.gov>, Jon Pond <jpgk@alaska.net>,
    WAPHGIS <waphgis@u.washington.edu>
Subject: Windows Haku (5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables)

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See below:

In advance, I apologize to the author - I can not longer find the original
source. Ms Miller (my high school English teacher) and Laura (my librarian
friend )  would be appalled that I do not provide a footnote  crediting the
author... sorry Polly wherever you are ( I know where Laura is) . Sorry to
the author.   I apoligize to friends if I have alreeady sent this to you.
Its OK to laugh again ...

Dick Hoskins


    It is reported on the internet that Sony has announced its own
    computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC
    called  the Vaio.

    Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of
    Microsoft's Windows 98/5, 3.1, and DOS operating systems, Sony's
    chairman Asai
    Tawara said, "We intend to capture the high ground by putting a
    human,     Japanese face on what has been until now an operating system
that
    reflects Western  cultural hegemony. For example, we have replaced the
impersonal and
    unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku
    poetry (5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables)."

    The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error messages:


    A file that big?
    It might be very useful.
    But now it is gone.


    The Web site you seek
    cannot be located but
    countless more exist


    Chaos reigns within.
    Reflect, repent, and reboot.
    Order shall return.


    ABORTED effort:
    Close all that you have worked on.
    You ask way too much.


    Yesterday it worked
    Today it is not working
    Windows is like that.


    First snow, then silence.
    This thousand dollar screen dies
    so beautifully.

    With searching comes loss
    and the presence of absence:
    "My Novel" not found.


    The Tao that is seen
    Is not the true Tao, until
    You bring fresh toner.

    Windows NT crashed.
    I am the Blue Screen of Death.
    No one hears your screams.


    Stay the patient course
    Of little worth is your ire
    The network is down

    My favorite:

    A crash reduces
    your expensive computer
    to a simple stone.


    Three things are certain:
    Death, taxes, and lost data.
    Guess which has occurred.

    You step in the stream,
    but the water has moved on.
    This page is not here


    Out of memory.
    We wish to hold the whole sky,
    But we never will.

    Having been erased,
    The document you're seeking
    Must now be retyped.


    Serious error.
    All shortcuts have disappeared.
    Screen. Mind. Both are blank.